458: ALNM, Falling in Love With Tobias
Posted by Lucy on March 6th, 2010. Filed under: A Little Night Magic.Since I’m going to be working so hard on getting this done, on occasion, you’ll get snippets from the work because I don’t have time to blog. I’m hoping this is okay. This is a little bit of one scene in the first act that I love, because this is when I fell in love with Tobias. Enjoy!
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“Okay,” he said as he drizzled the hot syrup over the tops of the two plates of waffles, “these are cinnamon orange Belgians with an amaretto pecan caramel sauce. It’s my own recipe, so if you hate it, be sure to lie.”
He placed the plate in front of me, and I picked up the fork, dying to dig in, but I couldn’t seem to lower it down.
“Something wrong?” Tobias asked.
“No.” I lowered the fork down an inch, then another. The warring voices inside my head said, You’ve already had 1800 calories today, and that was before the liquor, and the other said, oh my god he made you waffles and they smell so gooooooood….
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
I sighed, put the fork down, and said miserably, “I’m on a diet.”
“What?”
“It’s just that I was already at my calorie limit for the day before I had the liquor, and–”
“How much do you weigh?”
He said it so abruptly, so matter-of-fact, as if that was a perfectly appropriate question to ask.
“I… I… I….” I swallowed. “I don’t know.”
“Then what are you worried about? Dig in.” He cut into his waffles and took a bite, his eyes closing a bit as he did. “Mmmm.” He looked at me, smiling. “Go ahead.”
“A hundred and fifty-two,” I said.
He went still for a minute, then said, “A hundred and fifty-two what?”
I hid my face in my hands. “Pounds.”
“That’s nothing.” He shoved the plate in between my elbows as they rested on the table. “Shut up and eat.”
I peeked out from between my fingers. “A hundred and fifty-eight.”
He shook his head and laughed. “And I’m supposed to be… what? Impressed?”
I put my hands down. “Horrified.”
“I’m neither. Eat.”
I picked up my fork, then put it down. “A hundred and sixty.” I waited for his reaction, and when there was none, I took a breath and threw down the full gauntlet. “Three. But it’s okay because–”
“Jesus Christ.” He snatched my plate and started cutting into my waffles with my fork.
“–I’m 5′ 7″, so I really only need to lose–”
“I can’t believe I’m listening to this.”
“–twenty pounds or so. What?”
He stopped and looked at me. “This is how women think?”
“Why? What’s wrong with it?”
He cut into the waffles, and stabbed a bite. “Fucking hell.”
“I don’t–” As I opened my mouth to say the word, he shoved the bite in. The first thing I noticed was the warmth, followed by the sweetness of the caramelized pecans, then I chewed and the waffles crunched a bit before giving way to the pastry inside, fluffy and light and wonderful and accepting. I unwittingly made a vaguely sexual sound, then put my hand to my mouth. “Pardon me. Little foodgasm there.”
March 6th, 2010 at 7:48 am
My first thought was, omigod, that’s my target weight which was immediately followed by why is this man fiction? Foodgasm. Snort.
Of course it’s alright to post excerpts. This is your blog, your rules.
March 6th, 2010 at 7:51 am
Awesome!
Silly you apologizing for doing your job and “not having time to blog” You get to decide what is on here, you’re in charge baby. No apology necessary. But damn! Where can I find me some waffles?
March 6th, 2010 at 8:12 am
I’m liking Tobias a lot! And this chick sounds like me…I can’t wait for your book.
March 6th, 2010 at 8:20 am
I’m totally on board with sharing scenes instead of a blog post occasionally. Especially if they’re like this one.
If we’re good can we get another one?
Oh, and vaguely related to the stuff you’re writing, I stumbled across this series of photos done to depict fairy tale women in a modern world (un)happily ever after. Kind of dark, but so well done. I think my favorite is Jasmine.
http://www.fallenprincesses.com/
March 6th, 2010 at 9:11 am
What Betty Magic said. Foodgasm. That word is going into my vocabulary immediately.
March 6th, 2010 at 9:43 am
“I hope this is ok” she says.
OK??? Heck, its more than ok. And on your blog – its your playground, your rules.
“Foodgasm”
I think I need a few of those
March 6th, 2010 at 10:03 am
Haaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha! I love this!!! Foodgasm!
I had a boyfriend a couple of years ago who told me to shut up and eat already. “If you’re having fun and enjoying the flavor and texture and taste, then enjoy it!” I ended up gaining 20 lbs that summer. I enjoyed a LOT.
March 6th, 2010 at 10:28 am
Scene sharing is more than OK. This is terrific and Tobias is definitely a guy worth loving. I didn’t write the following and I can’t remember who did, but it was in my journal, now to be joined forever with “foodgasm”.
“There are some tastes that are so instantly, incredibly good that they send all my taste buds into a hastily choreographed version of Riverdance.”
March 6th, 2010 at 11:07 am
This is why I love fiction. All the men I know would attempt to remove my waffle, work out a fitness programme for me and offer to take me running every lunchtime. I need to start hanging out with chefs.
It’s great, Lani – thank you for sharing it and please write more. Can’t wait to read the whole thing.
March 6th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Marly, that quote is priceless!
March 6th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
You can share Tobias and waffles with us anytime you please. In fact, if you post it again on Monday I’ll read it again and enjoy it. I love him already. Can’t wait to get to know him better.
Shoot! Now I’m craving waffles.
March 6th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Now I have a crush on Tobias, too… is there anything sexier than a man who likes your weight and wants to feed you waffles?
March 6th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
@Bona Fide Betty A guy that likes your weight and feeds you Chocolate.
And possibly? Coffee. SEXAY.
March 6th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Foodgasm! Best new word ever.
March 6th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Ah, this Tobias is clearly quite the charmer – I adore your writing, Alpha-Betty, but your heroes set an awfully high bar for we mortal men!
March 6th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
LOL, don’t worry, Alastair. Just feed your lady love some waffles. (I have this recipe somewhere if you want it.
)
March 6th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
Well, I don’t know about Alastair, but I want the recipe (it can be a blog post for another day)! While it is totally better to have marvelous food a) cooked by someone else b) fed to one by an attractive man who c) validates one’s appearance and right to eat marvelous food, I don’t see why we single people should be denied the foodgasm, at least.
So long as the waffles would be OK on a non-Belgian waffle maker, because I so totally don’t need another waffle iron. Rare moments of kitchen-equipment restraint should be supported.
March 6th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Excellent.
I’m off to make waffles.
March 6th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Who WOULDN’T fall in love with that guy? Yowzers.
March 6th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
What a nice word – foodgasm
I guess you nailed how (most) men regard food: something to be enjoyed. Counting calories seems to be oh so much a thing for women. Recently I read an interview with Sophie Dahl who has published an interesting cookbook and she mentioned that in contrast to a woman who’d beat herself up over emptying her plate of delicious food would only notice that he’s now quite sated.
One minor qualm though for me as a reader (just skip this paragraph if you mind) is the exact number of her weight. It puts too much emphasis on it while even in the first chapter we got to know that she’s not the skinniest in the world. I guess I’m in the very minority but the numbers through me out, stopped me from developping my own picture of Liv in my imagination. The basic idea works in spite of what Liv weighs – any of us I guess had those moments where we thought we’d be too “fat” and not allowing ourselves the bit of delicious food because it’s the extra of calories, so the number itself is not relevant (just my humble opinion and feel free to ignore totally).
March 6th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Tobias had me at amaretto pecan caramel sauce.
So maybe a waffle iron can be a woman’s second favorite gadget.
March 6th, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Foodgasm has just joined the lexicon to describe delicious. Rock!
Confession: I am ignoring all diet rules and eating only what I want, when I want, and as much as I need to not feel hungry any more. Not until I feel full, just not hungry.
I don’t eat fast food, except occasionally. I cook at home using real ingredients. There’s not a thing in the house that’s low fat, lite, diet or that tastes likes hay.
I’ve lost 5 pounds.
Food isn’t the enemy. Food is a necessary part of our diet. Why do we feel that food is somehow related to our morality? “It’s so bad!” we say as we drool over pastry cases. Until food starts killing kittens, it’s neither good nor bad. It’s just food. “Let’s be bad,” we say to each other in mock horror as we order dessert. Eating isn’t being bad, it’s necessary.
Most of us feel that we’ll go mad and eat everything in sight if we give ourselves permission to eat whatever we want. We might, for a bit. So what? Learn to listen to what your body wants, you’ll likely find that it starts asking for veggies as loudly as it asks for chocolate.
Sorry. I get a little shouty on the subject of women and our relation to food.
March 6th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
Nothing wrong with a little food porn as far as I’m concerned!! That was even family friendly:) Loved it. Thanks for sharing.
March 6th, 2010 at 7:26 pm
@Bonny Betty – loved the website, but found it hard to pick a favorite.
I think it’s such a treat to be able to read a snippet. Tobias is intriguing and I can not wait to read this book!
March 6th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Foodgasm ! Love it. You are going to have to include recipes in the book or on your website.
<3
March 6th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Can I share a new book self published by a gal I know called “The Happy Baker – A Dater’s Guide to Emotional Baking” By Erin Bolger
http://www.thehappybakerchick.com/home.html
Erin grew up in a little town down the road from me and moved to the big city (Toronto) to become a very successful make up artist. But her dating life has had some ups and downs. She is also a great baker. So she combined witty stories of her love life with tried and true recipies. A funny yummy read. I’m baking “Maybe It’s Destiny, Dream Bars” tomorrow.
March 6th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
LOL, Biker Betty, I think that was a FICTIONAL waffle, and we’ll only be able to get fictional recipes (-:. (Although, if it is real, I would like to have the recipe, too, LOL!) Almost everything is better when it is savored through a book — that way, your brain can push its own buttons. Men, shoes, waffles . . . it’s all better when consumed literarily.
March 6th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
Oh, and no dishwashing or sweeping up (or cockroaches) after a fictional feast.
March 6th, 2010 at 9:46 pm
See how beneficial it is to post snippets? We improve our vocabulary (foodgasm: one for the ages). And Louis, at least, evidently wastes no time applying the Waffle Your Way Into Her Heart lesson.
Looks like a win-win-win!
March 6th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
Great now I want waffles and it’s 9pm. *laughs* Excellent excerpt.
March 7th, 2010 at 12:08 am
Love it! Here’s the waffle song that we sing at my place: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xp9kNepzNu8
March 7th, 2010 at 12:52 am
I’m with the other Bettys. It’s your site, and when you have a need, we’ll gladly take a look at a scene, or two.
Tobias and foodgasm, what a way to go. Keep up the good work.
March 7th, 2010 at 3:00 am
Foodgasm. ((SNORT!)) FTW!
@ Bonny Betty – fantastic link. I can’t choose between Snow White and Cinderella as my fav.
Here is something along similar lines that I love: http://jeftoonportfolio.blogspot.com/2009/02/twisted-princess.html
Most fan art/fic scares the hell out of me, but these illos tickle me to no end… possibly because I served four years at the House of Mouse and my 5 yr old daughter and 65 yr old mother are Disney Princess junkies.
March 7th, 2010 at 9:46 am
I can’t wait to read the whole thing! And excerpts are always welcome.
March 7th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
I fluctuate between being ecstatic that I get to read another snippet ~ and yeah, I’m falling for Tobias too ~ and groaning because it’s *how long* until I can read the whole book? Thanks for sharing!!!
March 7th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
@shangrila– loved the waffle song, thanks for passing that along.
Loved the excerpt, too. especially since we just had sunday brunch– pancakes from Bisquick mix– and I was feeling guilty about the syrup.
March 7th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
is it okay to post snippets?? It is ALWAYS okay to post snippets, that’s like reader rule number one for authors!!
March 8th, 2010 at 3:22 pm
I love snippets. Snippets are good.
However, I have to agree with Doris – you lost me at the numbers. I know the point is that Tobias doesn’t care. But obviously Liv does and that bothers me. I believe we as women need to get away from the artifical numbers that define our size and just learn to be healthy. Maybe her diet makes more sense in context, but as it stands, it made me very uncomforable.
(My first post and I have to be critical. ~sigh~)
March 8th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Well, I see where you and Doris are coming from, Toni (and welcome, by the way!) but the fact is that the numbers are real. This is what real women think, in terms of specific calories and specific numbers. And the fact that her weight is 10 pounds lower than my goal weight – that’s just her numbers and my numbers, how they shake out. But I’m not trying to make a statement about how women should or shouldn’t think, I’m just recording how they do think, and this is the reality.
If it’s any help – she gets over it.
March 8th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
A short attempt to clarify why I mentioned my unease to the numbers-thingy:
I was sure Liv’d get over the qualms about the numbers. Me being thrown out had less to do with the artificiality of those numbers (we can preach as much as we can, it probably will never change much). It had more to do with the fact that for everyone of us there exist different individual “numbers”. I remember The Cherry explaining once (concerning Bet Me, but also in general) why she didn’t tell Min’s exact weight/size and usually doesn’t give exact descriptions of her characters. Because the readers form their own images while reading. And how a woman with more than the actual “ideal” weight would look for me might differ from how such a woman might look for Toni, I’m sure.
But this book is your baby, so you’re the one to decide about whatever Liv thinks on page